I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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