I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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