Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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