i already hear my dad disowning me
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize