Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Randomize
