If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
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He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
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I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
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