Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Use "feeling words"
Yay
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
