There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
