I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Congratulations! We have a period
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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