When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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