please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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