Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
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Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I will be naked everywhere
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
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Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize