I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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