He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
