I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
