when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize
