glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
