I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
