when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
