Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
