so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
two words...techno handjob
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
