Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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