now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enjoy the penises
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize