He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize