He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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