You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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