I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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