she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
