so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
what day is it and did you see me today?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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