Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
