I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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