i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
