Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
someone owes me an orgasm
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Randomize
