I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
