Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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