Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
