That's intense
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize