my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
As shirtless as possible
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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