Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
