I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
