No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
