thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
