You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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