i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
