My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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