Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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