It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
the liver wants what the liver wants
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
