I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
