he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.