It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
We don't watch enough power rangers
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties