I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
