The maid of honor just puked.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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