My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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