its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
