Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize