very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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