Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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