I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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