So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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