the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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