and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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