it wasn't lemon gatorade
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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