So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
