I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
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