We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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