Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
