Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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