i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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